Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I am NOT a terrorist!

I suppose, if my life keeps going the way it has been lately, I’ll need to change the title of my blog to ‘The Trials and Tribulations of TallulahTooGood’. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water…

Allow me to set the stage for you. We live out of town, way out of town. There is nothing within walking distance with the exception of the freeway, agricultural fields growing ‘I have no idea’, mountains, the beach about five miles away (I didn’t say within my walking distance) and a military base. I begin my walk each morning, and evening, by crossing the street, walking the few steps to the barbed-wire fence surrounding the landing strip and fitness track (I assume that’s what it is as I see soldiers running around it all the time). I walk along the fence, simply because a path is worn making it much easier for me, armed with a bag of bread crumbs and a camera with a lens large enough to make Tommy Lee jealous. Get where I’m going with this tale?

Half way through my hike, I am approached my two soldier boys (they couldn’t have been older than 30, 35 tops) dressing in camouflaged gear. Have they been following me and I haven’t noticed because of their uniforms? Not surprised one bit at their appearance, I’ve actually been expecting a confrontation a bit sooner, my camera is THAT awesome. Considering there was only three of us out in the middle of nowhere, no mistake they were there for me.

Both were very polite yet extremely straightforward, one very cute, one, ech. Naturally the not-as-cute one conducts the interrogation. What am I taking pictures of? Did I know I was on government property? Name, rank and serial number. Not-so-cute guy was in the middle of his questions when his cell phone rang to the tune of “Kung Fu Fighting”. It’s now a bit difficult to take him seriously; thank goodness he passed me over to the cute one who is much more sensitive and conducts the rest of the chat with a soft touch. Him, I’m liking. Wondering if his ringtone starts out..”I’ll make love to you like you want me to…”

He asks me my name, not too certain he believes me but he writes it down. Wants to know where I was born, thinking Kabul would not be as funny an answer to them as I seem to think it is. After he finds out everything about me, including my last Pap smear results, he gently lets me know the info will not be released to anyone else. As he gazes at me compassion I realize since sweat has been dripping in my eyes, I keep blinking, giving the illusion I am on the verge of weeping. He’s so cute I just want to wrap him up and take him home.

Not-so-cute-guy decides it’s time to ruin my moment by explaining how people are (and here he uses air quotes, he is making it nearly impossible to take him seriously) “concerned” these days when they see someone carrying a camera and snapping pics near a military facility. I get it. I definitely can see how I would be mistaken for a terrorist, an over-weight-out-of-shape-fifty-plus woman waddling a mile and a half morning and night. I can see the resemblance. Seriously, I’m cool with the cross-examination. I offer to let me look through the photos I took (looking at 50 photos of a hummingbird cannot possible entertain anyone else but me) and not-so-cute-guy can’t operate my camera. We look at them together, he asks me to delete a few, explains where I can take photos and whisks the-cute-one away, probably to deal another terroristic emergency. Yes, I am making light of the incident, even though I am aware of the gravity of a terrorist attack, I think it was just a bit ridiculous. Seriously, one look at me would relieve anyone’s worried mind. I am not a terrorist.

Now, I imagine I am on some suspected terrorist list which will cause me to be stripped down whenever I enter an airport, whatever books and movies I choose to indulge in will be flagged and examined for content, my blog will be censured. It could happen. If you’re reading this not-as-cute-guy (notice how I slipped that little change in), if I were a terrorist, I would probably part across the freeway where you wouldn’t see me and use a much bigger lens to take photos, Just saying. And please change your ringtone.
Cute-guy, call me. ( =

Everybody was kung fu fighting…

I decided to make you all accomplices by sharing a few photos from this morning.
Hehe he

I also finished another layout for Brownie Scraps.

I think I'm going to redo it, removing the ribbons (because I'm not much of a ribbon/bow person) and try a different title. Do you ever redo your layouts?

If I get a chance today, I'll finish up the template and have it as a freebie tomorrow.

Love you bunches,
( =


Jo on March 3, 2009 at 12:29 PM said...

Oh my, what an adventure! I see both sides of the whole thing. I'm glad they aren't just letting things go by that they think might be suspicious. I do think it's kinda funny, though, that they would think you would be so obvious about taking pictures for terrorist' information.

On the scrapbooking side. I like the layout... I would keep the curly ribbon above the tree but take the other one off. I don't usually redo my layouts. That's why it takes me like a year to finish one layout. I have to have everything perfect and really like the outcome before I'll "put it out there".